What an ironic start

I started this blog as a self-support for myself. When I graduated from college with a Business and Philosophy majors, I won the lottery. I landed an equity traders job with a major firm. Truly, there was nothing else I wanted to do...in fact, there is nothing else I knew how to do.

I remember during High School when the internet was still an infant and quote.com introduced real time quotes that weren’t delayed 20 minutes i requested my seat be moved to the sole computer in the class. Id bring up the symbols QCOM and YHOO and watch the site chart in REAL TIME!! this last about 2 class sessions before my English teacher moved me because I was learning more about how a stock trades intraday then the theme and plot of "A Tale of Two Cities."

When I first started the job at the trading firm i was told "this will be the hardest job you ever have." and "you should be profitable in 6 months." I told myself it wouldn’t be the hardest job ever, and I would be profitable in less than 6 months. Well to make a long story short, it ended up being the hardest job ever, and I am now 7 months into this and just treading water. Now don’t get me wrong, I have been to the top of the mountain, I have tasted the finest champagne. In my 4th month i had 10 profitable days in a row, and I believe only 3 down days for the month. I was told by all that I picked up on it quickly and I was doing very well. I passed it off as the fortune of having the right stocks on my screen. I knew what I knew wasn’t what it took to being a consistent, and I was the only one who sat back and recognized I wasn’t a good trader, just a very lucky one. It made it no less painful when I hit my losing streak a month later and I tumbled off the mountain wallet first.

Anyway, I expect really no comments because I come into this with no expectation except I do wish to archive a lot of lessons I learn in the trading day. In a perfect world I would update this after the markets close everyday and review it occasionally to remind myself of lessons I had learned but soon forgot.

Oh. So how did this become an ironic start? Well, im cash strapped. And watching my friend tell me they had a "terrible week at work" bothers me. Why? Because how terrible is the week when you have yet to EVER see a paycheck yet? Atleast you guys got paid. Well this weekend I got into a mondo car wreck. It is going cost well over $2k to get me back on track. This is $2000 I don’t have, and $2000 of income that isn’t coming it. I know I know...a trader shouldn’t expect a regular salary. Some days I make $1000 before my 'normal job' friends wake up.

I’m trying to get use to being a step above homeless while trying not to. All I know is, I gave up too much to come this far, I am determined to make this work. Ill do whatever it takes because I really know nothing else. One thing my X girlfriend taught me (im sure ill write about her in the future) is that I have never NEVER never put my mind on a goal and not succeeded it. A quote I live by “Rise…and raise others with you.” The only true wayt I can contribute to this statement and the others around me is by getting GREAT at what I do. Getting great seems to be taking a lot of time, emotionally draining, and a test on my patience. This really ended up being the hardest job I ever had, no doubt about it that. Would I trade it for anything else? Absolutely never. I feed off difficulty, and this is my year’s Thanksgiving feast.

Lets see how this week goes.